FromSoftware loves to troll us every now and again. Patches is proof of this, a nefarious trickster known deceptively as Trusty Patches during his infamous appearance in the first Dark Souls game.
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Known for misleading people with the hopes of looting their corpses after they meet their untimely ends, Patches has become something of a staple of the entire SoulsBorne series and appears in almost every game to impede your progress. He is rightly described as a charlatan and a scoundrel, and he has a reputation for a reason. Let's take a look at all the ways he's ruined your day so far.
7 Posing As Siegward
In Dark Souls 3, Siegward - or what looks like him - can be seen idling near a bridge before urging the player across. However, before reaching the other side, the bridge will suddenly become lowered and Patches will reveal himself. After stealing the Catarina knight's armor, he is now posing as him and takes the perfect opportunity to trick you, as is his penchant.
By making your way back to his location, he can be found frightened and apologetic about what he did. Sparing him will see him return to Firelink Shrine so he can serve as a merchant and, amusingly, he will now sell Siegward's armor to you, though most players will probably prefer to kill him instead seeing as how he drops it upon death.
6 His Appearance In The Nightmare Frontier
The Nightmare Frontier is a hellish realm in Bloodborne full of horrific monsters and lost hunters. During your explorations, you probably came upon a cluster of shining coins near a cliff edge. After investigating this, Patches appears and shoves the Hunter into a poison lake filled with grotesque, slug-like creatures and Winter Lanterns.
Navigating the lake and finding the exit usually ends in a quick death, with Patches having fled the scene and abandoned you to your fate. To make matters even worse, Bloodborne's incarnation of Patches sees a human head sprouting from the body of a gigantic spider, rather than his appearances in previous games. It was the only way they could have made an already detestable character even worse.
5 The Tower Where Fire Keepers Go To Die
Patches may appear most memorably in Dark Souls 3 clad in Siegward's armor, but that is not the only way to meet him. Should you purchase the tower key from the elderly merchant woman in Firelink Shrine and head to the large tower behind Firelink, Patches will be waiting for you upon your return. Having locked the gate to the tower, he gloats for a few moments before leaving you to die alongside the countless bodies of past Fire Keepers already inside.
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As usual, the protagonist is forced to make their escape and confront Patches, where he will recite his usual monologue about giving in to his urges and he will insist he regrets what he has done. Much like the other encounter with him, he can be spared and will serve as a merchant that sells the Catarina armor he stole from Siegward.
4 Luring You To The Amygdala
Before ever discovering the Nightmare Frontier in Bloodborne, the player is spoken to by a stranger from any of the previous locations where an NPC has been found near a red lantern. After said stranger encourages you to take the Tonsil Stone from him and use it to pass a previously gated-off area, you are sent on your way to make what you will of his ramblings.
With the Tonsil Stone in your possession, the Amygdala that previously kills you instantaneously will now instead teleport you to the Lecture Building, but Patches can be heard laughing in the background as a short cutscene plays, and it is clear he is overjoyed at having lured you to an entirely different Nightmare altogether.
3 The Tomb Of The Giants
Perhaps his most noteworthy instance of deceit, Patches lurks in the shadows of Dark Souls' Tomb of the Giants, waiting for potential victims to stumble across him. The Chosen Undead is no exception. Having laid out some prism stones to guide the way, Patches insists there is treasure below and offers to let you take it for yourself. Your attempt to peer into the darkness is cut short, however, and Patches kicks the Chosen Undead into a pit where several other bodies can be found - his previous victims, maybe.
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Reah of Thorolund and her two bodyguards, who are now hollow, can also be found here, after also falling for Patches' tricks. He is perhaps a bit more notorious and active in his schemes during the first Dark Souls, but the aftermath plays out much like in the other games, and his fate is left up to the player.
2 For Old Times' Sake
Amnesiac Lapp is a friendly and upbeat NPC encountered during the Ringed City DLC for Dark Souls 3, but something is evidently off about him during the final encounter with him. After learning the gesture 'patches squat' - a red flag so large it could be seen from space - Lapp urges you to the edge of a crumbled staircase to earn your reward for helping him regain his memory.
He inevitably kicks you down into a hole, and removes his helmet to reveal himself as an undead Patches who briefly forgot who he was. This time, he cannot be hunted down for his crimes, but can instead humorously be summoned for the next boss.
1 The First Trick
Way back in Demon's Souls, players hadn't the hindsight to know that a certain Patches the Hyena was going to have it out for them, but it wouldn't be long before they learned what kind of person he really was. Encountering him in the area after the Shrine of Storms, he pretends to be agreeable enough and informs you about the nearby pit and what treasures might be hiding within. Just like in Dark Souls, he takes the chance to kick the Slayer of Demons in so that he can strip any valuables from their corpse after they perish.
Inside the pit, Saint Urbain can also be spoken to after being tricked in much the same way. Apologies and half-baked explanations ensue, as does Patches' attempt to make up for his crimes by acting as a merchant back at the Nexus, but it's safe to say your day was well and truly ruined when he booted you down that hole.
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